The uncertainties

Welcome to 2020!

Who would have thought that we are already in the middle of 2020 and we are all dragging that this year will soon be over.

Praise God that we are safe and that we are still keeping up with the challenges amidst the times when everything seems so uncertain.

Hope everyone including you and your loved ones are still stronger than ever and still hopeful that one day everything will soon be okay.

So, what were you up to? How were you able to manage the uncertainties? How were you able to deal with your lives especially during the lockdown months? How did you cope up with the rollercoaster events in your surroundings? How did you make the uncertain times worthwhile?

Looking back to the first few days of the lockdown i would say, it was a relief to somehow grab the chance to deal with that "pause" season of your working life. The daily pressures at work while enduring the hours and hours of travel to and from work was extremely at its highest peak of stress points!

It was overwhelming that I got the chance to have the liberty of time to ourselves. It then paved a lot of realizations to me.

#latepost

#latepublish

What are you grateful for?

I'm back!

Yes, am back with my random blah!

A month ago, I began to jot down all the things that I am grateful for 2019. And turned out, my blessings were HUMONGOUS than my disappointments.

And yes, it hits me, why dwell on things that I do not have and yet God has opened a lot, as in A LOT of new beginnings for me and the husband for this year.

Many times, I am at my highest peak of contentment and there are certain times that everything seems to be there out in the drain. Yes, I am human. I have feelings. I also feel sad but the one great thing i am most thankful for, I rise above it. How? Simple! I embraced my feelings, I hugged my sadness, my disappointments and cuddle my pain, yet, I am grateful that somewhere along that darkness, God will always, as in ALWAYS make a way to remind me that it is okay not to be okay and that I am loved no matter what i am going through and that I am enough no matter how painful I think I am feeling.

By crying and pouring my heart out to Him is my way of embracing my lowest of lows of emotions. I turn to my journal and scribble down my random thoughts, i write down my prayers and somehow it helped me get back on my track.

It had been years and i have been very vocal on my journey to become a mother and yet, my road to become one is still uncertain. I almost, yes I almost walked down the road to motherhood when just as I was about to walk that road, suddenly, it rerouted me to another road of uncertainty. My road to motherhood was short-lived, yet, it was somehow one of my most memorable experience to date. I think my road to (almost) motherhood deserves a separate post.

The world we live in now is full of hashtag goals (#goals), that we strive and struggle hard just to keep up with everybody. Everything seems to be just for the show now. And it sometimes take a toll on me, how I tend to compare my life from everyone else. Then I realized, I have my own timeline, everybody has a unique timeline. Growing up, I am always on top of my game, I get things done because I am in control of everything. I managed to take my life pace according to my own pace.

So what happened when infertility hits me? Of course, i felt devastated and embarrassed because I cannot live up to people's expectations. Yes, i was that bad, really BAD! I punished my own self. I created a little corner hating myself just because I wanted to live up to the so called "norm" and yet, i am a failure in that area. I dislike everytime people talk to me about my journey to motherhood because it magnifies my failure. I want them to stop and just treat me just the same and not make me feel i am not good enough. 

Infertility made me realize that i do not control my life. That my life is not according to my own pace. In life, i learned that not everything has its reason, sometimes, it is just the way it is. No need to comprehend everything. That is how wonderful and great the Lord is, the grace of infertility is not a punishment. Funny how i call it as the "grace", but true enough, not everything we desire is for own good. I call it grace because whenever i looked on the other side of my infertility, there are so much more than my infertility. That life is not just being a mother. There are so much that the Lord has in store for us, yet the world we live in tend to give us that certain "norm" and dwelling on that "norm" will not make us feel and become better.

So, what am I grateful for? I am thankful for my life. I am thankful that I have this kind of road. I am thankful for the unknown and the uncertainties. I am thankful of my infertility because it made me stronger than i was, because it made me surrender my life to God and because it made my relationship with God and my husband even stronger.

If you are walking on the same road as i am walking, just hang in there. Always remember that it is okay not to be okay. Always remember that God loves us and we may not have our answered prayers (yet), never stop praising Him, after all, our desires may not be His desires because whatever happens, His will should always be done. Remember, Jesus hesitated on God's will, but, he surrendered and let God's will be done. Jesus obeyed and perfected God's love to us by surrendering to God's will. I will still continue to praise and worship Him despite the hurts and disappointments along the way. I will still cry and will still feel sad, yet, I will not stop believing that I am loved and that I am enough because I believe that I am more than what I desire because God's plans and desires are far better than ours.

Ciao!

faithhopelove
    

Camiguin escapade 2017

https://youtu.be/a-rJD17NjqY

One of my best birthday vacations ever! 

Change is coming!

What change have you been up to lately? Many times in our life we crave for that. Well, we sometimes reach to a certain point that we wanted to but we do not know how. Alright, let me just speak on my behalf and not yours. I have reached a point in my life now that I so wanted something new (hahahaha!!!! of course i was not talking about the new administration's slogan - Change is coming- but somehow it hits right into me). I wanted to try something I have never done before, something that will challenge me and something that will really bring out the best in me. 

So far 2016 has been so good to me. It opened new avenues for me, new opportunities that I may try for that so called "change" that i wanted. Yes, just like any other new ventures, it is scary and exciting in some way or another, but I am at the point now that I do not know how to make things fall into its own places. Yet i am faithful that God will shower me with His wisdom that I will be able to carry on those opportunities into something wonderful for myself and for others as well. Meantime, I just enjoy those overwhelming surprises and opportunities and just leave everything up to Him. I just indulge my spare time in filling up myself with those new opportunities and new beginnings. After all, all beginnings are really not that easy. I will just continue to hold on to God's promises that His plans for me are way better than mine.

So there you go, just thinking out loud. 

Ciao! 

Jewels

Want to know what made my 36th birthday more special? Yes, you read it right, last Wednesday i turned 36 (this is just a number as i feel and look way younger than this, hahahahaha!!! ;-p) and apart from my simple celebration with the Lord and the husband and the all sorts of greetings from families and friends (thanks to the wonders of technology for bringing people closer in just one app away). *biggest grin* - i had the most wonderful gift to myself - celebrating and experiencing my womanhood through the Jewels Conference 2016.




Way before my birthday, I was eager to attend the women’s gathering for something like (kind of) my step to being the better version of me. And yes, deciding to come to the conference was not an accident but by God’s prompting.

Through God’s grace, I was able to come to the conference with 3 of my colleagues who also want to experience and celebrate God with other women of different or unique experiences and backgrounds.

Looking back, words cannot express how grateful I am of every circumstances that made me or pushed me to attend the conference. It was such a VERY WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE!




Let me share with you some of what I got or learned from the conference which I now kept in my heart to help me live my journey called life.

In life, we have what they call as SEASONS.

1. The Season of TRUTH.
2. The Season of TRIAL.
3. The Season of TRANSFORMATION.
4. The Season of TRIUMPH.

How and when does these seasons apply in our lives? Let me give some bits and points I got from the talk. 

If we believe in something then it becomes the TRUTH. Thus, everything is a choice. If we choose to believe in something negative and ill, then that becomes the truth. Therefore, we must continuously pray to God to help us discern the right from the wrong. So that only God's ways and words are we going to live by.

The purpose of TRIAL is to transform us so that we will not quit in the middle but instead still continue our journey until we reach our TRIUMPH. Remember, nothing in our past can define us. Trial is a disguised form of motivation. To make sure that we will be able to keep moving forward despite the trial, let us ask God to help us in our transformation, let us ask for courage to deal with it and ask God to help us carry it and walk through with it.

Faith will help us TRANSFORM. By faith, we let God take control of our life because God has our best interest at heart. There are 3keys to transformation: 

1. The role of Suffering - where suffering is GOD’s pedagogy. Through suffering God continues to transform us from inside to be more like Jesus. Suffering seals the TRANSFORMATION for eternal strength and beauty. 
2. The power of the Holy Spirit - all we need to do is to access the power of the Holy Spirit; Remember this: PLOTS. PRAY; LISTEN; OBEY; TRUST; and SUBMIT
3. The knowledge of the Right Standards - The TRANSFORMATION of the heart paves the way for the Holy Spirit to transform our minds as we study His word to have the mind of Christ.

The 2graces of TRANSFORMATION: 

The Scars -  let us embrace our scars
The Songs - let us choose one or two to best represent our journey

Having had those graces will make us more stronger, braver and more courageous. It symbolizes that we are actually on the way to our TRIUMPH.




As we go along the journey of life, always remember that there is always a rainbow after the rain. When we listen to God and persevere in running our own race, God will equip us so we will become what He wants us to be. Stronger, Braver, Bolder and more Courageous. And again, let us always aim for the TRIUMPH that God has prepared for us. The reward that God designed for us. Indeed, God's plans and ways are ALWAYS the BEST!





TESTIFY - No matter what we are going through as a woman, let us remember that we are beautiful, we are loved and we are forgiven. That we women are the relationship barometers and manuals. Remember, we are SPECIAL, we are BEAUTIFUL, let us be the carrier of GOOD NEWS and a POWERFUL INFLUENCE to others. Be like Mama Mary.


And that womanhood is also motherhood. That motherhood is not only having a PHYSICAL WOMB, motherhood is also having a SPIRITUAL WOMB where we mother others to praise and worship God who has been journeying with us even in times that we feel we are all alone. Thus, every woman is a mother and every woman is worth more than gold. Women are all jewels.



"She is more precious than jewels; and nothing you desire compares with her." Proverbs 3:15














Ciao!

New coffee experience in the metro

I am not a coffee lover. Yes, i repeat not a coffee lover. But wait, what's this subject all about. Let me tell you why.

My husband is a real coffee lover. He can take coffee in the morning, even at lunch and at dinner. Not just fancy coffee - not flavored ones but black coffee just plain coffee, no sugar/honey, or even milk. He once told me that a colleague of him told him that you can best appreciate coffee just as plain as it is. Hmmmm.... Sounds interesting right? But me, nah! Forget it, i usually order juice or hot chocolate or just the plain bottled water everytime we need to hang out and just take a breather in a coffee shop. Boring as it sounds but i just could not take the palpitations i am getting everytime i take a sip of coffee (caffeine maybe) and even the hot chocolate (the cocoa maybe but not as extensive as the caffeine from coffee). 

But, yes i said BUT (smiling face) who would have thought that i will finally and slowly learning how to sip and (lo and behold) drink black coffee! Hahahaha!!! OA as it sounds but i managed to take a sip and learned how not my body react differently (the palpitations i usually experience). 

How did it happen? I don't even know how, but as far as i can remember as i told earlier my husband is a real coffee lover, so every dinnertime he brews coffee, and looking at him enjoying it makes me wonder what is really in it that makes him love it. Until i made a slow move to try it for myself just sipping from his cup while taking a bite of rosquillos (that egg biscuit we love when we were kids), then the rest was history. 

Just a weird thing is that, i do not drink coffee from coffee shops just the one my husband brews. Hehehehe... 

Well, as they say, change is the only permanent thing in this lifetime. During our gf/bf anniversary (uh-huh, that is right, we still celebrate our gf/bf anniversaries even monthsaries... Hehehe.. Sweet? We just love celebrating it - insert wink and smiling face) i asked him to have breakfast in Toby's estate a new coffee shop in Salcedo. Long before, he knows already about this shop as one of his bosses owns it, it just did not made an impact to me as I really am not a coffee lover. They used to have a small area in Century City mall, but when i saw that there was a bigger shop that opened in Salcedo (near my workplace) i kind of invited him to try it for ourselves. Fast forward, i made a very bold move to order coffee for myself.

Toby's estate's Flat White is ❤️❤️❤️! 

Yes, you read it right. Go and try it for yourself and i am telling you, you will surely know what i am talking about. My husband ordered Amerikano. 

Toby's estate's Cafe Amerikano. 

And here are what we paired it with. 

It was truly a wonderful anniversary breakfast date i will never forget. 

Anyway, i hope you will go and try it for yourself. It is actually a new (and wonderful) coffee experience you will love. 

Ciao! 

Hello Mr. Sun!

Yes, summer heat is on and Mr. Sun is here with all his his power and might! Staying outdoors is really not a good idea now especially when you just walk around from buildings to buildings. The scorching weather drains all the energy in you. On the lighter note, one good thing about the appearance of Mr. Sun is the outdoor trips! You know, the very famous thing during summer ------ swimming!.... pools.....the sand and the beach! oh la la! who doesn't love swimming?! I bet most Filipinos love swimming! Given the fact that we live in a tropical country, and we Filipinos are just blessed with 7,107 islands of which so many have yet to discover.

Come to think of it, most Filipinos wanted to go abroad to visit new places and yet they have not take their time to discover their own gems in their own country! Back when i was younger, I told myself that I wanted to tour and discover places around my beloved country, the Philippines before i travel and go abroad to see the world (of course, this did not happen but at least now am trying to fulfill it). Call me patriotic or whatsoever but don't you think it would be wonderful to discover new places and new cultures within your country before you go and explore the world so at least you get to exchange people from abroad our various traditions, cultures and our treasures in our own land. Anyway, people have different views, opinions and dispositions, some wanted to see the world while they are young and still has the capability to travel to their heart's (and pockets) content.

Anyway, so as long as you are happy with the way you live your life, go and indulge yourself! God has blessed us with all the wonders He created for us to savor and enjoy! Life is short, let us all live and relish life's so many blessings.

Let us all enjoy summer, the heat, the sweat, the crowd, the laughters and even Mr. Sun! Well, I am very ecstatic, April and May will be filled with so many things i love - birthdays, family, outdoor trips, vacation, beach, pool, friends, laughters, new places and adventure trips! And am sure it will all be worth blogging for, just can't wait for it!

Enjoy Mr. Sun peeps!

Ciao!